I recently put the song “Comparison Kills” by Jonathan McReynolds in repeat mode not simply because I like its style in general, but mostly because it made me think a bit — and so I decided to write those thoughts down. Apart from its interesting style and cadence, the song really has so much going for it, but in this post, I shall only focus on its core message.
Consider the following selected snippet:
[Comparison] makes you consider shoes you don’t like
But when that shoe doesn’t fit
Wear what you will despite how they feel
Comparison kills…
The grass was fine
Til it looked greener on the other side
Now you’re believing that you fell behind.
Why try to match what should be one of a kind?
You’re one of a kind.
Without listening to the entire song, with only the above verse, I believe anyone should be able to guess its overall message. I’d summarize it as an encouragement to not covet anything that is your neighbor’s: their looks, belongings, etc. McReynolds uses a number of helpful images to show how a person devoid of self contentment is at the mercy of the ravenous joy killer that is comparison.
Monsters that kill#
It’s not for nothing that this kind of comparison pushing people to be envious (or jealous) of others is commonly (and rightly) referred to as the “green-eyed monster”; one that will not hesitate to tear you apart. Interestingly enough, the symbolism behind the color green (mostly because of how green food was sometimes associated with spoilage and toxicity) associates it with similar vices: jealousy, envy, covetousness and greed. I’ve also noticed that anyone who has ever said anything wise (and memorable) about any of these vices has been careful to choose images that should evoke dread and overwhelming fear. We’ll then do well to heed these warnings with the utmost seriousness. Why be so casual about entertaining a ‘monster’ that ‘kills’ or why should we play around ‘snares’ that lead to ‘ruin and destruction’? Why pierce ourselves with ‘many pangs’? (1 Timothy 6:9-10)
Back to the song, I believe that McReynolds uses the word ‘comparison’ as a substitute for any of these vices (jealousy, envy, covetousness and greed). He could also have meant to use the word ‘comparison’ as a means through which these green-themed sins come. However, comparison itself is not always negative — or perhaps I should say it doesn’t always have a bad outcome. For example, I could admire someone’s integrity and be inspired to change. What really happens if I’m successful here is: I compared myself away from vice into virtue! And that’s commendable.
Therefore, comparison can sometimes be a good thing. We’re encouraged to have heroes and role models and mentors. Aren’t they people we look up to? And what’s “looking up to someone” if not a result of comparing yourself against their lives, find yours lacking and in need of improvement? The Bible even goes beyond mere suggestion to command us to imitate people who had great faith, to consider the “outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith” (Hebrews 13:7). What then do we become if we never ‘compare’ our lives against theirs?
Wrong Shoes and Greener Grass#
Granted that comparing yourself in order to get better is commendable, it then follows that it involves a journey to get to that goal; a journey that usually starts with, if you will, “baby steps”. To borrow an image from McReynolds’ song, you’ll have, so to speak, “big shoes to fill”. It doesn’t mean that you should then just throw the (proverbial) shoes away because they don’t fit. Even though they feel awkward at the moment, you’re meant, in this case, to stick with and grow into them. Your feelings about the shoes and how they fit take the back seat because the noble desire to fill them is what is key. You’re not meant to remain a baby (in your steps) because that’s what seems familiar, rather you’re meant to grow and walk properly on your own.
More nuance is then called for as we think about this matter and we’re to be careful and prayerful. The comparison that McReynolds describes can happen both in a positive and negative sense and I’d pose this question to explain what I mean: Is it always wrong to long for “greener grass”? I don’t think so! Sometimes desiring “greener grass” is a sign of greed at work but sometimes not desiring “greener grass” shows laziness (usually hiding under the false pretense of contentment with the status quo). There are cases when not realizing “you fell behind” is deplorable and other cases when only by knowing your internal motives will it be clear if it’s the case or not.
I believe that never longing for “greener grass” is a sign of lack of drive and ambition. To be fair, and as we know very well, ambition can either be good or bad, it all depends on the context — and probably this is why we shouldn’t rush to judge people’s lives and choices based on whether or not they’re ambitious. However, even though this is context dependent, not being animated by any sort of ambition for one reason or another is never a good sign. We shouldn’t therefore think that the song discourages any sort of ambition for fear that it’s always the product of envy or jealousy. Paul the Apostle himself, the one who asks us to imitate him, also had ambitions (Romans 15:20).
You’re one of a kind#
My other issue, you see, is the idea of never comparing yourself because we’re supposedly meant to be ‘one of a kind’. Underneath this reasoning, I think, lies a concern for being ‘original’ or ‘authentic’ (something I also don’t want to discard) which, in my opinion, becomes an obsession if it (mis)leads you to the hard stance of not comparing yourself with others. Why is it that the Bible, while acknowledging elsewhere each individual’s uniqueness, isn’t so much concerned about losing our ‘originality’ when it commands us to imitate other people’s faith?
C.S.Lewis said something very helpful in this regard:
“Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.”
Mere Christianity
Much can be said about originality and authenticity, however, the encouragement today is only to not let the concern of originality be the tyrant. Go ahead and compare your life against those who displayed great virtue, and work towards making said virtue truly your own; that is, let it go down deep into the very fabric of yourself until it becomes ‘second nature’. Chances are, since you’re wired uniquely and differently, the virtue in question will show itself in a way that will seem original. Besides, who’s going to complain (rather than be glad) that you showed the same kind of patience or grace (or any other virtue) that another person has displayed before?
I’ll conclude by noting that no one can ever say everything about anything and bring all subtle nuances to bear every time — especially in a confined medium like that of a song. That is to say, my aim was not to disapprove McReynolds’s song, but rather to agree with the message to beware (and pray against) the wrong sort of comparison in its insidious nature while also highlighting cases where comparison is to be encouraged.
